Saturday 22 May 2010

Last night I made my second visit to Fatfield Scouts and (inbetween a balloon animal demonstration) picked the winning entry in the Super Maxwell/creativity badge competition. The winner was Joshua Montgomery (aged 10) with his brilliant poem, The Day of the Author - not only is it wonderfully well written, he's left the door open for a sequal -now that's professional! Joshua won a signed copy of The Burning Boys - and Joshua, and all of the Scouts who entered the writing competition, will appear in the next Maxwell book - The Isle of the Dead - as pupils at the Watchmen Academy - Joshua's winning poem follows below.

Tony Kerr 22/5/10

The Day of the Authorby Joshua Montgomery (age 10)

Cubs is great. Very fun.
No two weeks are the same.
But the fun stopped suddenly
The day the author came.

I never knew how he got there.
He looked normal at first.
But whilst he was reading to us
His shirt began to burst.

A tail sprouted and then with devilish glee
Translucent scales replaced his hair.
He grew to eight feet tall
And his nostrils began to flare.

‘He’s an alien,’ cried Eleanor.
Peter screamed, ‘Run for the door.’
Katherine fainted with terror
And someone made a mess on the floor.

But the author didn’t know that we had completed
Our cub badge on space exploration.
We decided to fight back
And to get rid of this abomination.

We enticed him into our lunar module
Which we’d never put into use.
We all stood back except for one
Who bravely lit the fuse.

Off went the alien author
Who was blasted back into space.
We screamed and shouted for joy
And I’ll never forget the look on Kevin’s face.

Next week we are doing deep sea diving.
I hope we find the fish are thriving.
But any monsters, aliens and creatures weird
Be warned, we are the mighty 1st Fatfield!

Friday 21 May 2010

The 1st Fatfield Scouts did a great job putting together their stories (and poems) about how to survive alien worlds...and ghosts...and sharks...and just about everything else you can think of!

Thanks you to all of the Scouts - I will be picking the winner tonight (May 21) and posting the results tomorrow. But for now, enjoy all of their great stories (below)

Tony Kerr


Craig Fergus - aged 10.

The Famous Three

Just as the sun set across the dark forest of 1st Fatfield Scout Hut, all of the Cubs snuggled up in their warm sleeping blankets while the famous author Tony Kerr read Super Maxwell and the Last Heroes. Suddenly, there was a loud bang which came from the newly- repaired hut. Quietly, 5 cubs named Craig, Maia, Hannah, Adam and Mia crept quickly through the dark forest and where the brown wooden hut was. As silently as a mouse, they sneaked into the foggy hall, which had cream walls and a tatty blue carpet, and suddenly felt a drift of smoke overtake the fresh air which came from the blue sky above. All of a sudden, a giant green cloud banged against every one of the five friends, knocking them out instantly!

As they slowly awoke from their deep sleep, they found themselves strangely going down... down... down and then BANG! They hit their backs off the floor of a very dark room and all went OWW! “Let’s get outta here” said Hannah thoughtfully.

“I agree!” shouted Craig. The closed their eyes tightly, and swam up the small dusty grains of sand, but as they did, Adam slipped! “Adam!!!!” screamed Maia as all the 5 friends drifted up to the top of the sand. When they jumped onto a small bridge, Craig decided to do something what he remembered when he was earning his adventure badge. “ROPE!!!” he shouted unexpectedly as they all climbed aboard of the fragile bridge. Quickly, Craig threw the giant rope in the air, wrapped it round a tree and jumped, making him fly into the air and smash onto the tree. “Come on guys!” Slowly, a grey point was peacefully swimming through the ocean... until it noticed the 4 friends trying to climb up the tree. “ROARRRR!!!!!!” screamed the shark and climbed up the bridge and squirted water over everything. Suddenly they were wearing bathrobes! As the shark swam a different way, Craig decided rope would not help so he told everyone to be resourceful and look for things they could make clothes out of.

“Hey! Wait a sec, where’s Mia?” Mia said concerned. As they began searching for resources, they heard a faint scream coming from where the shark was heading. “Help me!” screamed a voice from behind. It was Mia!

“Oh No! First Adam and now Mia! I guess we are just going to have to fend for ourselves!” Hannah said sadly. “Just keep searching we’ll get them back later!”

1 hour later, they all had very good outfits which they had made. Maia had made a leaf dress; Hannah had made a leaf top and stick trousers, as well as Craig. They were not very comfortable at all, but they were all they could think of.

“Let’s get Mia and Adam back!” the three friends shouted altogether. Meanwhile, Hannah pulled out her adventure backpack and brought out a dagger. They swam through the ocean (hopefully for the last time) and firstly attempted to rescue Adam, who was stuck at the floor of the sand pool.

“Who’s going to go first?” Maia asked.

“I will!” shouted Craig as he jumped into the water and swam to the sand pool. “Adam!” Craig mumbled. Quickly a figure came up from the pool and up to Craig. It was Adam! And next to him was... Mia! “Great!” Craig thought “I got them both in one go!” When they had gotten back to Hannah and Maia, they all suddenly got blown away and into a bitch black room with a huge TV.

“I think I need some SpongeBob after all this havoc!” joked Adam as he switched on the TV.

The green alien was standing there on the telly. It said:

“Why hello fellow cubs. I see you have passed your test and you have earned your danger badge, a badge I made especially for you! You were picked to do this challenge as I for one think you are the best cubs 1st Fatfield have ever had!” It spoke. “You may now go home” Just then, the TV turned off and they were back in their sleeping bags.

“Where have you all been?” Grant asked.

“Oh, no where.” Maia smiled to herself.

The End

Lewis Hunt - aged 9

The Haunted House

In Cherry Tree Lane, at number thirteen, at the end of the lane stood a creepy house. Legend said it is haunted. Jack and Sam probably had the worst of it. They lived across the street from the horrible place. Jack and Sam were both intelligent. They had golden blonde hair and shimmering blue eyes. They had to walk past the house every day. They both tried to be brave but it never worked out.

One gloomy Saturday night, they just couldn’t stand it. Both of them had to do what was right. Quietly they sneaked out of their house and to the rusty gates of number thirteen. Creak… Suddenly the gates opened…

Bravely, the boys tiptoed to the broken door of the house. “Well here we go” Jack gulped. “Yyyes” Sam replied.

Creak went the door! The boys stepped in and wham!!!, the door shut them in.

“Help, help” cried the boys but no one could hear them. They were trapped.

“Do you know that really high window that was broken?” Sam asked, “Well that’s the only way out”. “Ahhh” screamed Jack. “Let’s go” said Sam.

As the two boys tiptoed upstairs they heard a sound! There it was again... It was a growling sound! Then suddenly a green creature with red peering eyes was at the bottom of the stairs. Its yellow teeth were very pointy and looked very sharp.

“Run” screamed Jack.

Jack and Sam were in trouble because the creature was right behind them. Suddenly Sam stopped. He had remembered that they had had a very garlily meal for dinner that night. “Blow on the creature” Sam instructed Jack. The boys blew their garlic breath at the creature. The creature howled then turned tail and fled.

“How did you know that?” asked Jack. “Simple” said Sam, “on Doctor Who, Slitheens hate garlic” he replied. “Look, we’re in the room with the broken window”.

Suddenly an echoing cackle was heard. “Let’s get out of this terrifying place” Jack suggested.

Before you could say fish paste, the boys were out of the window and had climbed down the convenient tree that was outside of the window.

They ran home and jumped straight into bed.

“I guess it is supposed to be unknown” thought Jack.

The End


Maia Lowerson - aged 10


3... 2... 1!
3boys, 2 girls, 1 amazing adventure

“Pass to me” shouted Paul! “No me” screamed Hannah waving her fists in the air trying to catch the brightly, coloured ball. Everyone in 1st fatfield scouts was playing a friendly game of basketball while waiting for a magic act to come and visit them. “Settle down” Peter screamed loudly over all the noise “the magic act has arrived” Everyone stopped then rushed to get front row seats of the mystical act. Silence was upon the cub hut but suddenly......BANG!!! A light, pink smoke appeared in the corner of the hut. This ball of smoke was about the size of an average football but 5 adults were stepping out of it dazzling the crowd of cubs before them. As the cubs sat gobsmacked the magicians performed a show of amazing stunts, fantastic tricks and what seems impossible tasks. “Now for the fun part” said one of the magicians stepping forward “we are going to teach you a few tricks!”A giant applause came from the crowd of adoring cubs but slowly got quietened by the magician standing in front of them. One by one the cubs got paired into groups and sent off with a magician. Finally there was 5 people left: Maia, Hannah, Craig, Adam and Grant. These 5 children got paired up with a magician wearing a dark black sheik and a robe of pure black. He was silent while walking to the corner of the room he had been told to go to. When he started speaking his voice was deep and musty and slightly hard to understand. However his voice was not the kind you make fun of. “Now children I am not who you think I am in fact I have complete control of you for all I care you could be my slaves” Everyone shivered. “Did you hear that Peter?” shouted Maia across the hall. “Em Peter are you listening”
“Oh sweetie your precious Peter can’t hear you” the magician growled “no one can...........”

Silence struck these unlucky 5.When suddenly, blackness covered them like an itchy blanket. One by one they all tried to shake this darkness of them but failed. Eventually the darkness started to wear off but they were in somewhere gross and pink. “Where are we?” whispered Craig. His voice echoed. They thought for a moment then decided to think about their time as cubs. “Hey Hannah” exclaimed grant “didn’t we do our body parts badge”
“Yeah so”
Everyone thought the same thing but were to freaked out to say it. They were in the magician’s stomach!!! Now what should they do here they were trapped in some evil humans stomach and in at least 5 minutes they were going to be digested! Even though they weren’t saying it they all were thinking the same thing, they needed to get out ..........FAST! Hannah was the oldest of the 5 so felt she had to take action. “Right everyone what have we learnt that could help us in this situation” Nobody answered.”Oh come on everyone think” Still nothing. “Ok Adam what do you know about the direction of the wind” he thought a moment then said “it comes out your bottom half as well as your top half” Everyone laughed. “Hey Hannah that is not a bad idea” exclaimed Maia! “We just need to find a way to make this crazy maniac, burp. Grant thought for a second “hey if we run up and down his breathing tubes he would start coughing however if we tickle inside his breathing tubes he would start laughing as well as burping which would get us out of this idiots tummy.” Everyone agreed that was the best idea so started to make their way to his breathing tubes when they did eventually get there they heard a slight rumbling. A giant set of metal, sharp teeth was heading toward them gnashing its menacing teeth at them. They were about to be digested!!!!!! “Run!!!” screamed Craig at the top of his voice and they did just so. They ran tickling like their lives depended on it (well they did really) but the digestive system was catching up. It was just about to munch them into a thousand pieces when .......BURP!!! The 5 children got shot up the tube their hair blowing backwards. As soon as they made it out of the black magician grant jumped up and did a high kick right across the magicians face. “Owwww!” he cried. Pain ran across his body making him shiver. The sound barrier was broken. Hannah shouted for the other magicians and they came running over. Happily Hannah explained what had happened to the magicians and cub leaders. Peter got out his phone and called the police.A few minutes later the sound of sirens surrounded the cub hut 2 police men rushed in and handcuffed the evil magician. Cubs normally have huge adventures but this one, they all agreed, was the biggest!

The End

Nathan Lyle - aged 8

TRAPPED

On a cold snowy day Hector was playing on his Ds. He was playing an adventure game where he had to solve puzzles, riddles and challenges. Hector suddenly got an elcctric shock from the game and was zapped into the it.
Hector found himself by a river full of crocodiles. He had to solve the problem of how to cross the river without being eaten by the crocodiles. He saw some logs and ropes. Using the skills he had learnt at cubs on tying knots and lashing logs together he started on making his bridge. When he had finished his bridge, he floated it onto the river but it was a bit short. So Hector had to run very fast across the bridge at the end he had to do a long jump onto the riverbank. He just say landed on the riverbank.
On the other side he there was a signpost he had to choose which way to go ! The choice was to go the long way by the river or the shortcut through the dark damp cave. Hector being brave and a bit hungry decided to go into the cave even though it looked scary. he used his fire making skills to make a torch using some dry twigs tied to a branch. Hector went further into the dark cave there he saw a dragon blocking his way. The dragon was a fire breathing one and it was awake and watching him. Hector thought the dragon would go to sleep if he sang to it, then he could get past. He started to sing a song he remember from singing around the camp fire.The dragon fell asleep and Hector quietly tip-toed past it. Out of the cave into a jungle beyond.
In the jungle he came across another challenge the jungle floor was cover by venomous snakes. Hector noticed a rope up a tree, he started to climb up the tree. Once up the tree he saw more ropes going off into the distance, he started to swing from rope to rope. Eventually he was out of the jungle but his arms where very tried.
Hector heard someone shouting his naame he looked around but could see no-one. Still someone was calling his name it was his mother she was trying to wake him up. hector had falling asleep while playing his game and it was all a dream. He was trapped in his game after all.

The End

Hannah Mayne

The quest for the golden puffle

A long time ago there where two people called Yukon and Alaska. They heard about this golden puffle thing and Yukon said to Alaska "we should set out to get the golden puffle." "yeah." of course
Said Alaska a few days later they set of "lots of water?" check! shouted Yukon "even more food" " check!" and then they were ready to go they travelled to hot and sandy Egypt. They looked at the pyramid
of Giza "that's the one" Yukon said when they both got in it was very cold compared to outside "brrrrrrr". They walked along and Yukon stepped on a loose tile and loads of arrows shot out "duck Alaska!" the arrows pinned together then a few paces later Alaska was so out of breath he leaned against a brick BANG! A big huge stone ball so sharp infact it was so pointy it could go through anything. Only a few steps to go Alaska snatched is from it's place and scattered the stone ball was coming! They with the golden puffle. Grabbed onto the super sharp icicles And monkey barred all the way over. They both ran as fast as a tiger got out and drove away as fast as they could and got home safely and hid away they treasure for they rest of they lives.

The End

Joshua Montgomery - aged 10

The Day of the Author

Cubs is great. Very fun.
No two weeks are the same.
But the fun stopped suddenly
The day the author came.

I never knew how he got there.
He looked normal at first.
But whilst he was reading to us
His shirt began to burst.

A tail sprouted and then with devilish glee
Translucent scales replaced his hair.
He grew to eight feet tall
And his nostrils began to flare.

‘He’s an alien,’ cried Eleanor.
Peter screamed, ‘Run for the door.’
Katherine fainted with terror
And someone made a mess on the floor.

But the author didn’t know that we had completed
Our cub badge on space exploration.
We decided to fight back
And to get rid of this abomination.

We enticed him into our lunar module
Which we’d never put into use.
We all stood back except for one
Who bravely lit the fuse.

Off went the alien author
Who was blasted back into space.
We screamed and shouted for joy
And I’ll never forget the look on Kevin’s face.

Next week we are doing deep sea diving.
I hope we find the fish are thriving.
But any monsters, aliens and creatures weird
Be warned, we are the mighty 1st Fatfield!

The End

Thursday 13 May 2010

Talking to the birds

I am currently, as mentioned in last posting, doing a bit of touring and as part of this am doing a reading of a section of the new Super Maxwell book, The Isle of the Dead. Well, why not let you see it, I thought.
In this Billy encounters the Stymphalian Birds from Greek mythology...or are they?

Reading from Isle of the Dead

With soft thuds a dozen more creatures fell from the treetops and onto the snow. They started to stalk towards Billy with their jerky bird walks, their dusty wings fluttering with a low, dull sound that made his eardrums vibrate unpleasently. ‘Come on, Billy,’ he murmured to himself. ‘Use your noddle – WWBMD?’

Billy grinned suddenly. He winked at the advancing monsters. ‘See you later, ladies,’ he said gleefully, and he pointed his open hands at the forest floor.

Twin blasts of flame shot from the palms of his hands, and Billy spun on the spot. For a second he could see the moth-women advancing, could see their razor-blue teeth as their lips drew back in a snarl – and then they vanished in a scorching explosion of steam.

Billy crossed his arms over his chest and the flames were extinguished instantly. Just as suddenly flame engulfed his legs and propelled him into the air like a rocket at blast off.

Billy flew over a broiling fog of steam in which the monstrous creatures were just barely visible, backflipped through the air ... And landed with a heavy thump on his bottom. The flames on his legs sputtered and died.

WWBMD? What Would Batman Do? Well, maybe Batman wouldn’t do it quite like that, Billy reflected ruefully, rubbing his bottom as he turned and ran from the boiling wall of steam he had created.

Wednesday 12 May 2010

Be prepared...Be very prepared


This Friday (May 14) I will be giving a talk to the 1st Fatfield Scout Group on "surviving in alien worlds" - of which I know quite a lot about, thanks to Ray Mears, Bear Grylls and Ms Hummingbird, the psychotic survival expert, sports teacher, amateur flautist and part-time post woman on Virporta Island. I was a a scout for many year (sadly no pictures of me in my uniform have survived ) and I'll be interested to see the stories the Fatfield scouts put together to win their Creativity Badge - and I'll post them here when they're done. They didn't have a Creativity Badge when I was a scout, but I did have the knot making badge...
Don't forget exclusive content from Isle of the Dead is available at Twitter - I'm @Virporta - follow my Tweets!

Monday 10 May 2010

I'm an Amazonian


Amazon have been stocking my book, natch, and Amazon.com have got a nifty author page I wrote, but for the first time Amazon.co.uk have launched their author sites - and I'm there, alongside Neil Gaiman (though he's got better hair than me...)
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Tony-Kerr/e/B002BLNCWE/ref=ntt_dp_epwbk_0